What We Have Going for Us | The Hairpin

So I was feeling rather down the other day about my prospects in life, and my sister sent me a link to help make me feel better.

It did wonders for my mood that day, and I re-read it every time I feel discouraged, and I thought I would share it with all of you, maybe it will effect you like it did myself.

What We Have Going for Us | The Hairpin: "There are a few things people forget to tell you.

 

Each year of your twenties is worth three in regular time. The decade moves like dog years except that in the end you suddenly turn 30 as if you didn’t just age a single lifetime. Something happens between the ages of 20 and 25. This is your first go-round as an adult. Your brain shifts and closes and hardens like the soft spot on an infant’s skull. You try harder. You begin to stand up on those baby deer legs and learn how to carry yourself in challenging situations. You eventually grow into a human who is brave enough to wake up before brunch is over, and offices start answering phones with “good afternoon” instead of “good morning.” You’ll never quit being an animal, however.

Around 25 or 26 you will decide to really feel the rain on your skin. It may hurt. By this time, you have already made the big move from your parents’ nest. You’ll look around, survey your life and decide what to carry with you. Who to carry with you. This is the first time you let go of living life by reaction.

Make a list every morning of the smallest expectations. Note each item with a box, not a bullet. Draw an“X” inside each box after completing its corresponding task. This will give you a sense of accomplishment greater than simply striking through. Today you will email the last flagged address in your inbox. Today you will buy handsoap. You will end the night with a single window’s width of tabs open in your browser. You will sleep. It’s OK to add completed items in retrospect, if only to record your performed adulthood.

We are not so mysterious. If you want to get to know someone infinitely better, meet their parents for five minutes. We are attracted to people who were loved in the ways we were loved as children. We are attracted to people who are lacking in ways we understand.

We are all terrified to take our clothing off and equally eager to show our genitals to each other. Do not be so afraid. We tell people we love them when we are unprepared. When we don’t mean it. When we’re drunk. When we’re sober but filled with so many delicious chemicals in our infant skulls standing on our baby deer legs naked in the dark that we may as well be drunk.

Mostly, your relationships will end. You will hold people close to you with the knowledge that everyone is on a timeline. That everyone’s heart will eventually stop beating. Most of the time, though, things will not be this grim. If they were, no one would get laid.

The right people will be your memory bank. The right people will bring out the best in you.

Some people are the wrong people. Do not confuse them with the rare people who are inherently evil or bad. These people are just not for you.

There are the friends you meet for the occasional happy hour, and there are friends with whom you have longstanding Taco Tuesdays. Taco Tuesday means a bottle of wine for each person and peeling back the business-casual mask of the weekday while relaying mortifying tales of performed adulthood to one another. You hit reply all. You cried at your desk. You said “I love you” when you were unprepared or drunk or sober. Any day can be Taco Tuesday. These are the people who fill in your blanks. These are the right people.

We are social but we are not social media. We are social but we cannot survive on content alone. Sometimes being passive consumers of content works against us. If you don’t do it today you’ll put if off and then it will be awkward when you decide you really, really want to email this person. So do it today. Or don’t do it. Or maybe do it tomorrow, but if you don’t do it today you definitely won’t do it tomorrow. Again, make a list. Wash your face.

There is no IRL. This is everything."

More coming soon. Sorry about the hiatus everyone, I had some plans that fell through, so we are back at it here :)

Casey Anthony is Not Guilty

Casey Anthony

On Tuesday, July 5th, Casey Anthony was judged by a jury of her peers, as the U.S. Constitution calls for, and she was determined to be not guilty, despite mounting evidence to the contrary. Full story here.

This is another case of me being disappointed in humanity, but not for the reasons you are guessing.

First of all, this woman is supposed to be innocent until proven guilty, so the mass surprise of everyone is kind of ridiculous. In the mind of the public she should have never been viewed as anything but innocent until the jury decided otherwise. 

I understand people are going to take sides, so I really wouldn't expect anyone to be able to pull this one off.

Sign Seen After the Verdict Was Handed Down

But, second of all, and this one is what disappoints me, is the amount of people still harassing Casey Anthony after she was declared not guilty. From the TV talking heads acting surprised that she was  to the people that stalked her to the restaurant across the street from the court house to harass her, that is not their place in this. The pundits on TV have no right to attempt to instill doubt about the verdict into the public. They should have only reported that she was not guilty, and the facts based around that verdict. 

As far as the people harassing her, they couldn't be more wrong. Everyone harassing her should know they can't do anything about it, she cannot be tried again for her alleged crime.

My argument is very simple and very black and white. Guilty, or not guilty. She was determined to be not guilty, and she should be treated as such. Let's not Scarlet Letter this poor woman into exile, she had a fair trial, and was fairly deemed not guilty.

As always I fully encourage any criticism, advice, suggestions, or general discussion in the comment area.
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Conversations With a Soldier Part Deux

When I first started talking to my brother, Kris, about his experiences as a soldier in Afghanistan I promised him that I would not blog about it. He said that I could blog if I wished, but I could not make the blog political. So here I am, blogging about Afghanistan in a non-political way, trying to be as objective as possible and probably failing because Kris, my brother, is at war. This is part two of a series of discussions with my brother about his time in Afghanistan, part one can be found here.

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Feeling established with Kristofer from part one, this time around the questions and conversation came much easier. I had just watched Restrepo, a documentary about a group of soldiers in Afghanistan, and that helped me come up with some more questions relevant to his activities on the ground. 

So for this part in the series we jump right in. The first question I directed at my brother was how he and his company manage to communicate with the locals. He told me that all of the communication is done through a translator, and informed me that they don't really speak Arabic, and that there are two different tribal languages in the area he is in.  

I asked him if interaction with the locals is frustrating, knowing that it must be due to the cultural and linguistic barriers. Shortly, he answered "Always...they will only tell you what you want to hear." Going on to explain that effective communication is possible as long as you have an interpreter, and that most of the time they do have one. As a side note I mentioned that I thought communication would be damn near impossible without a interpreter, and humorously he responded saying "Everyone speaks .50 Cal."

I then asked him if he ever has to deal with violent locals, clarifying that I was not referring to the ones with guns, obviously those are the people we are fighting, but that I was referring more so to disorderly people, and I found his answer quite surprising. "Not so much. I honestly can't think of one time..." I expressed my surprise and attempted to broach the subject more, attempting to clarify by asking if everyone was amiable, if not cooperative. Kristofer said, "The biggest thing is... You never really know who you are dealing with. You might be talking to a person that is completely cooperative at the time, but little do you know he shot an RPG (Rocket Propelled Grenade) at you last week."

I went on to ask him how his relationship with his fellow soldiers is, curious about how they interacted and on what level. He responded summarily, stating that "These men and women out here are my brothers and sisters...they are all I have." 

In Restrepo they built an Observation Post, alternating between firefights and digging into the mountain, so I decided to ask my brother if he had ever been a part of building such a thing since he has been over there. H responded, "Funny you should ask...yes my platoon did build a COP (Combat Outpost) from ground zero."

  

To this point Kristofer had been surprisingly revealing about their operations over in Afghanistan, so I decided to push the envelope and asked him what his missions usually consist of. He responded much like I imagined he would saying with hesitation, "Uhhh...I can't give you too much on that one. We do a lot of different things...that is all I can give you for now."

Attempting a more general question, I asked him what his days normally consist of, mentioning observing from mountaintops and patrolling villages. He said "Both. Everything I do...I do it a lot."

Recently I had gotten word from my mother, who talks to Kristofer more than I do, that he would be opting out of coming to Louisiana for his last nine months of service so that he could stay over there and finish out his time. Suffice to say, I was upset about this revelation, and the next few questions revolved around that.

I mentioned what mom had told me about his plans, and simply asked why he would volunteer to stay in Afghanistan rather than coming out to Louisiana to finish out his time. My brother responded, "Kameron...there is nothing that will make you feel more alive than death lingering over you with every step you take."

My Brother, Kristofer

Now, this response didn't surprise me, my brother has always been a bit of an adrenaline junky. Enjoying fights and playing football, dangerous activities have always been in the forefront of his day to day life. So I mentioned that, asking if it was like a high for him. I didn't mean to oversimplify or devalue it, but I couldn't understand. 

"Its more than adrenaline...it's... hard to explain. It's momentarily losing total control and then picking your nuts up off of the ground and, for lack of better words, embracing the chaos...Its like this... I know that the people around me are better off because I am around. I am completely confident (not cocky) that there is nobody that can do my job as well as me. Knowing this, I would stay because I am the best man for the job."

Curious about what would lead him to believe that he is the best man for the job, I asked him about the amount of praise he receives from his superiors. He told me about how he is in the running for solider of the month. This was news to me, I was not aware that the military had any such thing, so I inquired further about that. Kris responded, . I'm also going to a promotion board next month (your leaders have to submit you for both of these things)...so I would say that they trust in all of my abilities."

Curious about my brother's interactions with his superiors, I asked him if they get inspirational speeches a lot or something (in Restrepo there were a surprising amount). He said, "If there are I don't notice them. When we get new soldiers (we have gotten 4 since I have been out here) I try to instill them with fear. Fear will keep you alive. Fear is an emotion that will give men wings. Men have done absolutely incredible things, not because they were brave, but because they were scared shitless." 

To wrap up this series of questions, I decided to ask what his favorite part of being in the Army is. He said "Without question its the camaraderie."

And, finally, I asked you guys to submit questions for me to ask my brother. Sadly, I only got one, and at first I wasn't going to ask him but I decided it would be fair to see if he would like to respond. 

Anonymous asked "Does he feel we should be over there?"

Kristofer wanted to avoid a political discussion, and he wanted me to make it clear that he would only answer a question like this one time. 

He said, "I feel like most Americans suffer from ADD. How can people so easily just discredit the fact that our country was attacked by terrorists? When you where a kid and someone said that your mother was a whore didn't you punch them in the mouth? If not you should have. True Americans are fighters, we are bred that way. We fight for our rights, we fight for our loved ones, we fight for our country, and, hell, we even fight for fun. Our country was founded by people willing to bleed for the freedoms that people now hide behind freedom of press and freedom of speech being two big ones. Now, at this point it is imperative that we fight to reform Afghanistan to prevent further attacks on American soil. Just in case the anyone feels like I didn't answer the question already...yes I feel like it is of utmost importance that we are over here.

...I will never answer a question like that again."

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If any of you guys have a question for my brother, PLEASE feel free to post it in the comments or e-mail me at thecynicalreport@gmail.com and I would love to ask him for you the next time I get a chance, and it may be used in a post like this one.

As always I fully encourage any criticism, advice, suggestions, or general discussion in the comment area.
If you wish you can contact me at thecynicalreport@gmail.com, and please like/share my blog on Facebook and Twitter using the links on the side!

Stephen McDow and the Stupidity of the IRS

Stephen McDow

A man by the name of Stephen McDow was arrested after the IRS mistakenly deposited $110,000 into his back account, reports The Huffington Post. The money was a tax return meant for an elderly lady. Stephen was taken to jail with a bail of $110,000 and faces up to four years in prison after spending $60,000 of it on student loans and his home mortgage.

When The Huffington Post linked their article on Facebook, they had included a status that said "Fair?"

Now I really love The Huffington Post, but this was really a stupid question. Of course it is fair.

In this case, he knew the money wasn't his. If you go to the bank, and you have $110,000 that you didn't earn, don't spend it. I can only imagine the temptation one would feel in the case of this man, but with a sum of money that large, someone is looking for it, and they are going to find it. To be honest, this man lucked out that it was a Government mistake and not some criminal mistake, because he would probably have to worry for his life if that was the case. It was just an all around bad decision to spend a dime of that money, there was no way it was going to end well.

I do not think he should spend four years in prison though, because it is important to remember that the IRS did make a mistake here, it doesn't all fall to him. He should have to pay the money back through some sort of payment system, but there is no way this man should lose four years of his life because of the combined stupidity of himself and the IRS. That would not be fair.

We have too many people caught up in our penal system for ridiculous things anyway, let's not add Stephen to the list.

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Birthdays and Black Holes

Scientists recently watched as a passing star was shredded by a black hole, which is significant since black holes are invisible to the naked eye until they are in the process of devouring an energy source, such as a star. That whole news story can be read here, but I want to talk about something it else it got me thinking about.

We are all going to die. At some point every single one of our lives will end due to some condition. Cancer, disease, etc. But what this news article got me thinking about is that all the things we associate with death are things we understand (to an extent).

I can handle death by random illness, or perhaps less commonly a random act of violence. Not that I want to die, dying scares the hell out of me, but I can comprehend incurring a fatal injury or disease. However, the fact that I could die due to some random cosmic act is something I had never explored at any length up to this point in my life. 

Ungodly Radiation Incoming

I know it isn't likely, and this isn't the beginning of me becoming someone who worries about the world ending at any given point, but I find the thought of my death being attributed to a wave of radiation from a star exploding in some distant galaxy to be rather unsettling.

Or perhaps more likely, the idea of my life ending because of a massive solar flare from our own sun raining down an ungodly amount of radiation upon me seems like a total ripoff. 

I would much rather get the cancer or full blown AIDS, at least then you get some sympathy, and maybe some cool or insightful stories.

When I get to the pearly gates of Heaven or the fiery ramparts of Hell I want to be able to have a good death story for my partners in necrosis. That would be much more badass than to be left standing before my maker saying "Oh, I don't know, I was playing some video games and here I am, you tell me."

By the way, it's my birthday, so there's that. 

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Politicians, Please Stop Using the Work Computers for Porn

Lulz Security Logo

Update: As of around 6 o'clock on June 15th The Huffington Post is reporting that Lulz Security hacked into the CIA's website. I think they may actually be doing us a favor, maybe our Nation's vital infrastructure will get it's shit together so we can prevent more serious cyber attacks in the future.

Reading headlines this morning, I stumbled upon a news story that involved our US Federal Government being hacked by a group called Lulz Security (that story can be read here). Now, the attack didn't put any of our information at risk, but it got me thinking. 

I remembered to a few years back when China's Government successfully hacked into the Pentagon (to jog your memory) and I decided to find out how often these kind of hacks into our vital Governmental systems actually take place.

What I found was pretty shocking. All according to the Office of Management and Budget, there are more than one hundred cyber attacks against Federal agencies everyday. In 2009 there were about 30,000 cyber attacks against us, and in 2010 Federal agencies reported 41,776 cyber incidents. That represents a 39% increase in cyber attacks going from '09 to '10. 

The worst part is, most of the attacks came from instances of phishing, also known as filling out that e-mail form for your free trial of Viagra. The fact that the people that run our country are constantly falling for fake forms to fill out and clicking dirty links is frightening to me. These people should have to go through some classes or something on how to protect US interests.

Just knowing that the US Government has the Office of Management and Budget on the case for cyber attacks tells me that we are obviously not prepared to handle an attack, we should have a specialized Office of Cyber Attacks or something, these things are pretty serious. I really don't want a group of Government hired accountants in charge of keeping our information safe, I don't even want them to be the ones keeping track of how often we are attacked.

Two pieces of advice for the US Government. One, helping that Nigerian Prince isn't going to help US foreign relations, and sure as hell isn't going to get us any more oil (hint: he isn't really a Nigerian Prince).

And two, get an external hard drive for all that porn you are downloading.
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If you enjoyed this post please hit the +1 button at the bottom, it helps get the blog noticed, and as always I fully encourage any criticism, advice, suggestions, or general discussion in the comment area.
 
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Tracy Morgan Does What Comedians Do

Tracy Morgan has been under fire for his most recent tirade about the gay and lesbian community, continuing a history of doing so. This time he is in trouble time for claiming things such as "...gay is a choice...God don't make no mistakes." Tracy also informed a crowd that if his son ever came out to him as gay, Tracy would stab him to death. Clearly comments like these are outrageous and unacceptable, but I have one problem with the public's outcry. 

All of this was said in a comedy club.

Now let me be sure to assure everyone that I do not dislike the gay community in anyway, I have a surprising amount of gay relatives and I think anyone who has a problem with gay rights or any such thing is an extremely bigoted person.

But as long as I have been alive, the comedy stage has been the epitome of free speech. Up there, a comedian can choose to shock a crowd into laughter using highly offensive humor, or he/she can stand there and make jokes. Tracy Morgan has done the former for many years, so this type of thing shouldn't even be news. 

The real problem here is that a bunch of people who know him from the hit comedy TV show "30 Rock" went to see their favorite (and clean) character Tracy Jordan, and what they got was an uncensored and uncut Tracy Morgan.

It's easy to get sucked into the Tracy Morgan hate in all of this, because his comments were despicable and the media does a great job of sensationalizing everything, but it is important to remember that everything he said was within the confines of a comedy club. Tracy Morgan isn't roaming the streets gay bashing, he simply made jokes he normally would have, to an audience that wasn't targeted well for his type of comedy.

If you enjoyed this post please hit the +1 button at the bottom, it helps get the blog noticed, and as always I fully encourage any criticism, advice, suggestions, or general discussion in the comment area.
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Movie Reflection: Pulp Fiction

Pulp Fiction is a film directed and co-written by the great Quentin Tarantino, and easily one of the all around best movies I have seen in recent memory.

Pulp Fiction follows the misadventures of LA Mobsters Vincent Vega (John Travolta), Jules Winnfield (Samuel L. Jackson) and Butch Coolidge (Bruce Willis) as their stories ingeniously intertwine, and in classic Tarantino fashion, do so out of chronological order.

The first thing I noticed when watching this movie was the incredible dialogue that takes place between the characters, especially between John Travolta and Samuel L. Jackson. The chemistry these two have on screen, combined with the amazing dialogue written for their characters, set up some of the coolest scenes to ever be in a movie, and the most memorable scene in my personal movie watching history.

(explicit warning)

The scene above is from the first twenty minutes of the movie, and the entertainment value never goes down from there. The fire in Jules we see in the above scene never goes away, and the calm cool collectedness of Vincent becomes a staple of the film. There were a couple of moments where I thought the movie kind of dragged on, and a few scenes I believed we just filler, but the ingeniousness of Quentin Tarantino shines through when it turned out that through two and a half hours worth of movie he only showed me things that mattered to the overall plot. Every single thing comes back around and every scene is important. 

Something else that stuck out to me was the amount of smoking. I don't have a problem with smoking, I don't smoke myself, but I suppose it is really a sign of the times. The amount of smoking in movies back then compared to how often you see it now, it has become much more of a rarity in today's politically correct environment. This really is too bad because this movie would not be the same without the smoking; it adds such a sense of "cool" to the entire film. I've never wanted to smoke a cigarette more than after seeing this piece of cinema.

While almost everything in this movie was fantastic, there were a couple of things that caught my attention that I did not think fit. 

The first thing I disliked quite a bit (spoiler alert) is how John Travolta's character just dies. I understand it was important to the movie that he dies, and in the end his death ties together the rest of the plot. I didn't dislike that he died, I disliked how he died. It was so disingenuous the way they just got rid of him like that. In my opinion Tarantino didn't make it seem important enough.

The second thing that I disliked was how Jules (Samuel L. Jackson) interacted with his boss, Marsellus Wallace. If the audience is supposed to believe that Marsellus is the big boss, we shouldn't have Jules, one of our main characters, who also happens to be an underling to Marsellus, talk to him like Marsellus is somehow beneath him. It was a inconsistency, but in my mind it was a major one, because it removed me from the immersion of the film, even if it was for just a second.

Along with those negatives, I felt like Butch's (Bruce Willis) storyline was kind of thrown in to the mix as an afterthought. It all comes back around, but his storyline just doesn't feel as important to me as Vincent's and Jules' parts in the narrative. 

Overall, I found that Pulp Fiction lived up to the hype. We don't often see movies with an all-star cast like this succeed as well as Pulp Fiction did. I do realize that a lot of the names in this movie were not quite as big then as they are now, but the acting was superb and the stylistic filming and framing of the shots were amazing. All that combined with an extremely well chosen soundtrack and we have what I believe is one of the best, and most influential movies of all time.

If you enjoyed this post please hit the +1 button at the bottom, it helps get the blog noticed, and as always I fully encourage any criticism, advice, suggestions, or general discussion in the comment area.
If you wish you can contact me at thecynicalreport@gmail.com, and please like/share the blog on Facebook and Twitter using the links on the side!

Conversations With a Soldier

When I first started talking to my brother, Kris, about his experiences as a soldier in Afghanistan I promised him that I would not blog about it. He said that I could blog if I wished, but I could not make the blog political. So here I am, blogging about Afghanistan in a non-political way, trying to be as objective as possible and probably failing because Kris, my brother, is at war.

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Initially, I felt timid and very hesitant to broach any of the many serious subjects one can inquire about when talking to a soldier, so I started simple. I asked him if it is hot or cold over in Afghanistan. Now, this is a stupid question, but I give him credit for answering it without being too much of a smart ass. Kris responded as wryly as he could muster using text by saying "It's hot during the summer and cold in the winter... but always cold at night." 

Seeing that I would have to step up my game to keep us both engaged in this conversation, I  decided to pick it up and ask some real questions. With a slight bit more confidence I followed up by asking what the atmosphere around camp was like when they are not on a mission. This was only the second time Kristofer and I had spoken since he shipped to Afghanistan so I didn't really expect much from him in this conversation, but he gave a more detailed response than I had bargained for. "You have to constantly be on your toes... even if you are in a 'safe' place there's always the chance that they will try to overrun you... or mortar you. But you are able to joke around a little during that time, too. You have to have a pretty morbid sense of humor."

My next question was about the atmosphere when on a mission, and whether or not they run day and night, because I only think of things happening during the day. I informed him that every time I imagine him in a fight out there I always see it as a movie. "We run missions day and night," he wrote. "It doesn't matter. Sometimes we step light and sometimes we don't (mission depending). I suppose it would be like a movie if you were on the outside looking in, but when you're in a firefight there is nothing Hollywood about it."

Kristofer Wedekind

 Really feeling my oats now I asked him how often shots are fired. This is a question that I only partly wanted to hear the answer to, and being ever so intuitive I think he got a sense of that, telling me all I need to know in his answer by responding "Often...once a week maybe, give or take. Wanting only to cautiously prod this topic, I asked if every firefight has a fatality, or if there are more surrenders than I imagine. "It ends when one side is dead, they surrender, or they run away. Someone always gets fucked up in a firefight, them or us."

A few moments later Kris asked, "Do you know what its like to be in a firefight?"

Feeling I may have hit a nerve, I wrote that I had no idea what it is like. In an attempt to relate to me the unrelatable, Kristofer wrote "Its Hell... Imagine the most terrified you have ever been and times that by a million. Imagine watching your friend die. Then imagine digging deep, pushing forward, and killing ones that would harm you and others you love."

Sensing that it would probably be a good idea to switch to a more pedestrian question, I asked how often he gets to sleep, and if he has ever hallucinated due to sleep deprivation. He responded, "I've been up for days at a time...no hallucinations here. There is a saying in the army 'Stay alert, stay alive'. You have to live by it! The second you let your guard down you die. My brother next to me depends on me staying alert and not being complacent. If I let him down he could die."

My last question was how often he got to partake in any type of entertainment. Television, movies, boardgames, sports, music, etc. "Lol," he wrote, "every chance I get... not often...I watched a little bit of tombstone on my buddies laptop earlier...with no sound. no games really... uh ping pong sometimes...cards blackjack poker dominoes spades...that's about it."

After answering this question Kris informed me that he had to go get some sleep before his next day, and presumably, mission. Disappointed that our talk was over for now, I accepted that he had to go to sleep so that he would be better prepared for the next day, and we said our goodbyes for the evening.

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Depending on reader response, I hope that Conversations With a Soldier becomes part of a series. Given the nature of Kris' and I's correspondence the chances of that happening are very hit or miss, so we will see. If any of you guys have a question for my brother, feel free to post it in the comments and I would love to ask him for you the next time I get a chance, and it may be used in a post like this one.

I hope you had a happy Memorial Day, and God bless our troops, past and present.

As always I fully encourage any criticism, advice, suggestions, or general discussion in the comment area.
If you wish you can contact me at thecynicalreport@gmail.com, and please like/share my blog on Facebook and Twitter using the links on the side!

Tiki Barber Compares Himself to Anne Frank

Tiki Barber

Tiki Barber, the former New York Giants running back and future Hall of Famer had this to say about a recent situation he was in. "Lep's Jewish. And it was like a reverse Anne Frank thing." "Lep" is his agent who's full name is Mark Lepselter. 

So what horrific situation could Barber have been in to feel like he could compare himself to Anne Frank?

Lepselter allowed Barber to stay in his attic after he broke up with his pregnant wife and ran away with his girlfriend, Tracy Lynn Johnson.

Anne Frank

Now, I am not typically oversensitive to this type of thing, and I would normally come to the defense of someone saying something like this, but I know a joke when I see one, and this was not a joke. At least, if it was a joke, it wasn't really funny at all, it was simply him comparing his experience of living in an attic to that of Anne Frank's.

I am not going to read any sort of antisemitism into his statements. He clearly does not not have anything against the Jewish people given his past history in which Tiki was a guest of President Shimon Peres in Israel five years ago, but his statement does have a sting of insensitivity. 

I simply cannot buy that a man who runs away from his commitment and responsibility to his wife and child is comparable to Anne Frank's struggle and her family's escape from an army of brainwashed murderers. 

While I am sure his pregnant wife may have seemed like a Nazi when he left her high and dry, I can assure him that no such comparison need be made.

As always I fully encourage any criticism, advice, suggestions, or general discussion in the comment area.
If you wish you can contact me at thecynicalreport@gmail.com, and please like/share my blog on Facebook and Twitter using the links on the side!

An Apology and While I Was Away

First off, allow me to apologize for my absence the last seventeen days. I had intended to make a post letting everyone know I would be gone for a while to attend my two best friend's wedding in Dallas, but I had computer problems before I departed, and never got a chance to let everyone know in advance, I hope you all will forgive this. I plan on picking up the once a week movie reflection next week, but for now let's go over something that really caught my attention while I was on vacation.

Deyan Valentinov Deyanov

One of the most shocking things to come out in the last couple weeks, and probably in my life, was the stabbing and beheading that took place in the Canary Islands. This is of course relatively old news at this point, but a Bulgarian man by the name of Deyan Valentinov Deyanov beheaded a woman in the Canary Islands. Homeless, and reportedly having gone through a recent break-up, Deyanov followed Jennifer Mills-Westley, a grandmother of five, into a supermarket, stabbed her fourteen times, and then proceeded to cut her head off as he proclaimed he was a "prophet of God." He then took the head with him and was walking along the sidewalk with it before being detained. He is currently being held in a psychiatric unit, and no motive has been identified for the killing. More information can be found here.

Jennifer Mills-Westley

 Hearing this news story blew my mind. I can't believe we live in a world where a 60 year old grandmother can be beheaded in the middle of a supermarket with screaming onlookers. Jennifer Mills-Westley had told security guards that this man was stalking and threatening her life, and all they did was shoo him away and send Jennifer off. Also, he managed to steal the knife he used in the assault from the supermarket in which he killed her.

But what blows my mind the most is the weapon with which he managed to behead this poor woman. He had a knife. Now, I have not cut off many heads in my life (that tally is currently at zero) but, having a basic knowledge of anatomy, I believe I can safely claim that it is not an easy feat. There is a lot of stuff in the neck to cut through, not the least of which is bone. The fact that he used a simple knife to cut this woman's head off causes another case of deep disappointment in the human race within me. This tells me that he managed to stab this woman fourteen times with a knife, AND saw her head off, with people looking on. I understand that the witnesses may have not been able to stop the stabbing, I imagine that could have very well happened in the blink of an eye, but cutting off this woman's head with a knife had to take a little bit of time in which people were simply watching him. 

I know the shock of seeing something like that must have been extreme, just reading about it was quite shocking, but I don't want to believe that people were not able to stop the severe mutilation of Jennifer's body, the prospect of doing so is just too sad to me. 

As always I fully encourage any criticism, advice, suggestions, or general discussion in the comment area.
If you wish you can contact me at thecynicalreport@gmail.com, and please like/share my blog on Facebook and Twitter using the links on the side!

Movie Reflection: Thor

Ok, so a couple disclaimers right off the bat. One, I am not a comic book guy, so this movie will be reflected upon merely as a movie guy, as it should be considering that if a movie wants to make any money, it needs to appeal to more than just comic book people.

And two, if you are a comic book person, don't hate me.

***SPOILERS

The Good

We will start with the couple things that Thor did well. One of the best parts of this movie for me was the music. The music in this movie was composed by Patrick Doyle, who is an internationally respected film composer, and I have to say, he was a great pick-up for this film given his experience with epics such as Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Eragon, and Henry V. His experience shone through in this film. The music fit the movie excellently and was perfectly crafted.

The other thing Thor did well was the casting. Chris Hemsworth just looks like Thor, and he is a decent actor. Also, the pick-up of Anthony Hopkins to play Odin was just wonderful, and Tom Hiddleston played a great Loki. He really is that pale, and Kat Dennings is a babe. The acting was excellent through and through, I was impressed.

The short scene in which he walks into a pet store looking for an animal to ride was gold. 

The Bad

And oh boy, was there a lot of it. Steel yourselves. The first thing I noticed was that I hated the main character. Thor was an obnoxious brat, and obviously arrogant to the point of stupidity. I understand this was a story telling point in that he would be punished and be changed, but he was such an ass in the beginning of the movie that I doubted King Odin's wisdom in passing the kingdom on to Thor in the first place.  It's as if the movie expects me to forget that everything that happened wasn't Thor's fault to begin with when he acted arrogantly in his invasion of Jotunheim (the Frost Giant world), disobeying his father's orders. So immediately I had a serious problem liking the main character, which very much got in the way of enjoying the film.

Also, Thor's little band of warriors seemed greatly out of place. In the movie they never really did anything at all. They went with Thor to Jotunheim and they kicked some butt there, but anymore than that they were really just characters to make sure the audience had a stake in Asgard while Thor was on Earth. They were simply disappointing in their attempt to help Thor save Earth from the Frost Giant fire breathing metal golem that Loki sent (seriously, what was that thing).

As far as Thor's "changed man" (overdone) storyline, it was not executed very well. Almost all of the events in this film take place in a span of 48 hours, which is a ridiculous notion. I mean, they built an entire army compound around Mjöllnir (Thor's hammer) in less than a day. Clearly not possible. Also, exactly when he changed was unclear to me. I understood the traumatic experience of not being able to retrieve Mjöllnir from the rock (which by the way, also overdone, hello King Arthur) but even after that, he was still a bit of an ass. Or maybe I am projecting.

The Ugly

In Asgard, everyone has British accents

Random Asian character in Asgard (who also has a British accent)

Stupid one liners. "Next." "At least give me a challenge."

Banishing someone to Earth so they will become a better person is...laughable

Kat Dennings' character, Darcy, comedic relief to the point of annoyance

If in same Universe as other superheroes, where are they to save town

Summary

For me, Thor could only go as far as the special effects and music could take it, and they did a good job with that stuff. But the story was thin and overdone, and the characters were too uninteresting to make me care about what was happening to them in the film.

--Kameron

On a more personal note I think I will be doing these movie reflections at once a week. It will vary, depending on funds, whether or not the movie I do will be a new release or more of a classic, but we will see. In fact, YOU guys tell me what movie to see. I will be doing one regardless, but if someone wants to recommend something, or you want something reviewed, let me know and I will take a look at it!

As always I fully encourage any criticism, advice, suggestions, or general discussion in the comment area.
If you wish you can contact me at thecynicalreport@gmail.com, and please like/share my blog on Facebook and Twitter using the links on the side!